Hercules Elsewhere
by Thor2000
Summary: With the threat the Sovereign might be loose, Hercules actually meets another counterpart of himself from another timeline.


It was the sort of day that most young men took to skip school and go fishing. Birds filled the sky with their singing and travelers walked with a hearty hello to others they passed on the road. Cool breezes welcomed everyone as one merchant set up a stand by the road and began peddling what he called fast food.

"Hungry?" He called out. "If you want it, I got it. If I don't have it, I can get it! Who 's hungry?"

"Falafel?" The recognizable form of the son of Zeus crossed over from the side of the room to talk to him. His best friend Iolaus stopped and watched a few feet away and watched.

"Hercules, good friend!" The skinny bearded merchant grinned with particles of food in his teeth. "I know you must be hungry. Saving all those people must work up quite an appetite."

"Yeah," Hercules reacted skeptically. "Now, just what gastronomic nightmare are you selling this time?"

"Just the best sandwich in the world!" Falafel started throwing it together. "I ground up the best parts of the cow, fry it together and then I slap it in a bun with lettuce, tomato, pickles, mushrooms, cheese and special sauce. I call it a full dinner sandwich; want to try it?"

"That doesn't sound that bad." Iolaus though it sounded all right. He reached to get a shekel from his pouch. "I'll try it."

"Iolaus, I wouldn't… " Hercules tried to warn him, but Iolaus dropped his coin and took the thick and heavy sandwich wrapped in oily parchment. He took one bite, experienced the bad taste hitting the back of his throat and then spit it out. He slammed the sandwich falling apart on to the wood stand and grabbed his flask of water to rid himself of the taste.

"What is in that special sauce?!!" He gagged on water as the thick grease from the meat lined his throat. "No, don't tell me?!" He stopped Falafel from answering.

"Don't like it?" Falafel looked at Iolaus then toward Hercules hiding his bemused grin. "How about this? I cut up several potatoes into long sticks and then fried them up in…."

"The same pig fat you fried the meat in." Hercules nodded his head chuckling as he followed along. "We don't think so. We'll just buy some fresh fruits."

"Suit yourself." Falafel took the sandwich Iolaus had turned down, lifted it up and took a bite from it. Iolaus gagged at the sight of him eating it as Hercules filled his pack with apples and grapes. "Where you guys going?"

"Phylace for the Summer Festival." Hercules paid for the provisions. "We're going to judge the tournaments for Jason."

"Yeah," Iolaus gargled with water still trying to get the taste of the pig fat out of his mouth. "We're going to be there for a week."

"I'm providing the food!" Falafel grinned excitedly.

"Great…." Hercules and Iolaus chorused half-heartedly and continued on their way. Falafel watched them depart up until they were no longer in his sight and looked at his creation. Pulling off a piece of mold from the bread, he tossed it away then took another bite from the sandwich.

"Why does no one like this?" He wondered then started calling out once more. "Food. Good food!!!"

"Oh no…" Salmoneus ran down the road from Iolcus and stared in a state disbelief. "I heard someone screaming food. Did it have to be you?"

"Would you like to try my full dinner sandwich?" Falafel beamed ear to ear as the wind picked up. Salmoneus squinted as dust blew into his eyes. The food stand wavered and shook in the tornado force gale and then shattered as a bright light exploded in front of them and threw them into the grass. Looking up, he saw shimmering bands of energy vague enough to distort the view on the other side of the road, but opaque enough to reflect his face back. The edge were spinning and contorting as something popped out the other side from them. It looked like a person, but he could not see anything through the portal. It was definitely a person of some sort as they paused, turned to look at the portal and then hurriedly dashed away. The portal then compacted and vanished in a bolt of light.

"What was that?" Falafel lay in the remains of his stand amidst strewn fruits and vegetables. "What was that?"

"I've seen it before." Salmoneus groaned as he stood. "It was a portal to another world, the Sovereign's world. If he's free…. I've got to warn Hercules."

"Hercules in is Phylace." Falafel replied.

"Good!" Salmoneus regained his breath. "Maybe he can put the Sovereign back before anyone gets hurt!"

PART TWO

"Hercules, thank you for coming," Jason gently guided the son of Zeus through the fairgrounds of Phylace. "With you here, I'm sure we can't have any trouble."

"Yeah, well," Hercules walked through the stands being erected and the patrons wandering through. "I don't think anyone is dumb enough to attack a fair, but I'm afraid with me here what else might be left unguarded."

"Herc," Iolaus had an eye on the lovely ladies crossing his path. "What ever happens, we will be ready. And besides, after what we've been through for the last month, the gods wouldn't dare send anymore trouble our way."

"Hercules!" Someone cried out.

"You had to say that." Hercules looked to Iolaus. "You had to jinx things."

"Hercules!!" Salmoneus came running around one of the stands and broke one of the supports holding it up as it collapsed. Wheezing and coughing, he was obviously not in shape for the sort of run he had just tried, but time was obviously of the essence and he was in a hurry. He fell against Jason gasping for air and sweating hard as the former Argonaut had one of his men surrender his flask. Grabbing it, the hefty and balding opportunist started drinking it down fast.

"Slowly, slowly, Salmoneus," Hercules looked after him and Iolaus watched with concern. "What's the matter?"

"Herc…." Salmoneus was still gasping. "Portal…. Down road…. Open…someone came out…. Sovereign…."

"Sovereign." Jason was struck in fear by the name. He had never encountered the man, but he believed Hercules when he heard the story of the dark universe where everyone was reversed. He wasn't sure what his counterpart was, but in that twisted reality Ares was actually god of love and Hercules was evil. The alternate Hercules was so corrupt he became a conqueror calling himself the Sovereign.

"Salmoneus," Hercules watched as Salmoneus continued drinking water between gasps for air. "Now, did you actually see the Sovereign?"

"Well, no," Salmoneus blinked as he breathed a bit easier. "Whoever it was came out the other side from where we was, but it was the same portal and everything! Can we take the chance?"

"No, we can't." Hercules realized the trouble that would happen from someone putting his or her faith in a false version of himself. He turned to Jason. "Jason, I'm sorry, but…"

"I understand, Hercules. You're needed." Jason grinned with his royal wisdom obviously shining through. "You come back when you can."

"It's a promise." Hercules gave a knowing look to Iolaus as they both turned to run back down the road.

PART THREE

The summer festival in Iolcus was never as grand as the one that was held in Phylace, but the patrons did very well selling merchandise and goods to the tourists who passed through for the festivals. Hotel owners rented and doubled up on rooms and merchants made three times as much as any other time of the year. Gamblers attracted a different type of visitor as the money being passed over hand over hand attracted the corrupt. One scream from someone being robbed incited the rest of the merchants to flee.

"Take all you can and burn the rest!" The tall brutish figure in the armor was Archon from Sparta. He was supposedly the son of Tarchus, a mortal son of Ares. He had started out as a thief and had now graduated to spreading sheer terror as a warlord guided by the war-god himself. Making a living on destruction and vandalism, he and his small army of six men spread fear through most of the city/states of Thessaly.

"Archon!" One of his men slew a member of the royal guard left to guard the city in Jason's absence. "I found jewels and rubies!"

"Why don't you leave them where they are?" Another voice called out. The dirty faces of Archon and his men turned to the source of his voice and recognized the short, flaxen presence of Gabrielle, the annoying bard that followed Xena around. Her nearly orange hair was back to full length and she was curiously dressed differently than usual in leather trousers and a loose fabric top over her tanned shoulders. It looked like she was dressing from Hercules' wardrobe.

"I thought you said Xena was in Rome?" Archon grabbed his lieutenant.

"She is!!!"

"Well," Archon sneered a bit and snorted air though his nose like a horse. "Then the bard has gone stupid!!!" They pulled out weapons and charged at her screaming battle cries. The figure they believed to be Gabrielle merely looked at them in amusement and pulled a pole out of the ground by her side. She swung it hard and fast to strike two men up alongside their heads, but the third man snapped it with his sword. Dodging that attack, she caught him by the rear of his armor and smashed him into the fourth man to try and attack her. Archon skidded to a stop as he watched the unbelievable. The bard actually lifted two of his men in both of her hands and tossed them into the town water hole. Since when could she do that?! His fifth man sailed past him into a pile of horse fertilizer being sold and his sixth slid twenty feet past him through dirt and rock and down the steps ascending the plaza. Proving to be a strong as Hercules, Gabrielle spun round to him without fear. Raising his sword, Archon growled under his breath and stormed her again. She was just a woman. She could die like anyone else. He swung his sword to cleave her in two, but she caught his sword hand in her left hand and then grabbed his belt and lifted him up completely off his feet. Archon's eyes widened as he realized he wasn't touching the ground. Lifted a foot off his feet, the suddenly godlike bard hung him to the wall to hand suspended off the ground.

"There you go." Gabrielle stepped back. "Now, I'm going to leave you hanging there until I pass this way again and maybe, just maybe, I'll let you down. Have a nice day!" She grinned with a twinkle in her eye and left him hanging. The merchants and tourists cheered to the shy as Archon was made into a wall decoration.

"Get me down!!!" Archon screamed and looked for his men. "Where are you idiots? Let me down!!!"

PART FOUR

Hercules and Iolaus skidded to a stop as they looked over the Iolcus market area. Something had happened here. Merchants were cleaning up their goods off the ground and others were trying to repair damaged stands. They looked at each other a bit bewildered and somehow shared the same thought as well. Something or someone had gone through here.

"Excuse me," Hercules stopped one of the townsfolk. "But did you see me through here a minute ago?"

"What?"

"Well, not him exactly." Iolaus added a bit. "But someone like him with a goatee and a lot of body armor and a big ego."

"No," The old man looked confused as he turned back to his market stand.

"Hercules!!!" Someone called. Hercules and Iolaus turned as Eurytus rushed to meet him. He had been one of the Argonauts with them. He met them with laughter and grins as the three of them spoke at once with proud camaraderie.

"You missed all the action." The talented archer remarked. "Gabrielle was here and she beat the crap out of Archon and his men all by herself. I mean, all that time with Xena must have made her just as strong as you."

"Gabrielle?" Iolaus reacted as if he didn't want to believe it.

"You don't believe me?" Eurytus postured a bit. "Well, Archon is still hanging on the wall over there." He pointed to the wall of the hotel. Archon was hanging off the wall, but some one else had set up a sign, "Hit the Clown – Two Dinars," next to him as children swatted at him with soft tomatoes and rotten fruits. Some of them were excellent shots in hitting him in the face. Hercules, Eurytus and Iolaus wandered up trying to believe it.

"Hercules…" Archon whined as a soft piece of lettuce hit the wall above him, rolled off his shoulder and fell to the ground. "Let me down, please?"

Hercules looked at Iolaus and Eurytus as he considered it.

"Well," He seemed to have second thoughts. "I don't know if I should."

"You know," Iolaus grinned a bit as the sun blinded him a bit. "Someone put him up there for a reason. Maybe we shouldn't be letting him down."

"Hercules, please!" Archon whined again. "Something in this wall is stabbing me in the pit of my back. I've got a major wedgie going on!"

"I can't bare to see anyone suffer." Eurytus mumbled as he folded his eyes. With a wry look in his face, Hercules shooed off the line of kids and reached up to lift up the repentant warlord. A tear fell down the grimy face of the unkempt mercenary as the pain in his back subsided. Standing back on the ground, Archon began tugging on the seat of his pants.

"How'd you get up there?"

"Oh…." Archon groused and groaned as he pulled off his helmet and poured the liquid and remains of tomatoes from it. "My men and I just wanted to have a little fun, but then that annoying bard that follows Xena around appeared and beat us up."

"Gabrielle?" Hercules answered in disbelief.

"It was really funny!" Eurytus grinned a bit as Archon reacted a bit pathetic.

"Gabrielle's possessed again?" Iolaus rolled his eyes. "Does she have a tattoo or something on her chest that says, 'Enter through here?' As if we haven't got enough with the Sovereign possibly running around."

"Where'd she go?"

"That way out toward the mountains." Eurytus pointed out of town.

"Eurytus, take care of Archon." Hercules rushed out of the square as Iolaus took a second and then joined him. Beyond the higher ramparts of the castle were the smaller hotels and the smaller personal homes. As they became more spread apart, it was obvious they were heading out of town. Finally, there were no more houses nor people and they running up a vague road left by carts and chariots in the dirt. When they came to a fork, they skidded to a stop.

"Herc, where do you think she went?" Iolaus tried to read the road for clues.

"I don't know, but I don't think we're supposed to be looking for the Sovereign." Hercules looked up and around the valley for other people. "Salmoneus said he saw someone come out, not necessarily the Sovereign."

"Another Gabrielle?" Iolaus picked up his line of thought.

"Sounds about right." Hercules heard a distant wagon pulled by horses ringing with frying pans hanging off it. It looked like settlers traveling to Iolcus and coming toward them. The son of Zeus waved them down as the master on it reared his horses back. As the horses buckled to a stop, his wife carefully pulled their child tight.

"Hi!" Hercules patted their horses as they stopped. "We're trying to find someone. She's blonde, pretty…"

"As strong as Hercules himself?" The immigrants did not know whom they were speaking to. "She helped pull us out of a ditch about thirty minutes ago. She also helped remount a new wheel."

"Sounds like something you'd do." Iolaus mumbled to Hercules.

"Thank you for your help." Hercules thanked the stranger and wished him well.

"You're welcome." The man stooped to rein his horses then grinned. "We're traveling from Gaul to Iolcus. How much further ahead?"

"A mile." Hercules answered.

"Thank you much!" The man spurred his horses as they started forward again pulling his wagon and family. Iolaus recaught his breath in the moment as he looked round then to Hercules.

"That possibly puts her a mile ahead." He exhaled.

"Yeah," Hercules looked round. "Now, when Gabrielle was possessed she headed west to Olympus, but this one is heading north."

"But there's nothing around here."

"Oh yes, there is." Hercules realized something Iolaus didn't know. "Demeter has a garden near here that only gods can see. It's invisible to mortals, and it just happens to have…"

"Golden apples." Iolaus cringed at the thought of another Gabrielle trying for immortality. "Oh boy."

PART FIVE

It was hard to believe that anything in the rocky terrain could possibly grow, at least anything that mortals could create. It was in this deserted and unclaimed rocky wilderness that a blonde, blue-eyed beauty came to venture through towering rocks and scale rocks reaching overhead. Her choice was the highest most inaccessible point of this terrain. Clouded from the sun by high rock columns three times her size, she determinedly pulled herself on to a ledge as a raven circled over her. It landed on a dead barren tree and watched her curiously as the strange female stood intimidated by one craggy rock face reaching over her.

"These gods sure don't make things easy." She muttered to herself as she looked the fifty feet up to where she wanted to be. A moment to catch her breath, she stepped on to a small ledge to reach a rock jutting out and pulled herself up on it to put her foot in another crevice to pull herself up. Another rock to step on, another crack to step up on, she began making fair results as she looked down ten feet from where she was. When there wasn't anything to grip, she punched her fist into the rock and made a hole she could hold as well as put her foot into as a step. The raven screeched at her results and fluttered its wings annoyed at her success. Its vision turned behind it as more curiosity seekers approached.

"Hercules," Iolaus stopped and looked up. Far ahead and a hundred yards before them, he saw the scant image of the vague climber on the cliff. Hercules squinted his eyes to the human pinprick of life scaling the dark gray and earth brown rock side and gasped to determine a course of action.

"This way." Hercules jumped down into a dry riverbed for a less direct by easier jaunt that took them under rock faces and around gravel bed once churned by the long vanished river. Their female quarry was now halfway up the cliff and moving into hard resistance as the top of the cliff reached out over her a bit far from the cliff below it. To climb it, she'd be hanging straight down like a tailless monkey from a very big tree. Reaching out, she reached up into one opening and dug her fingernails into the solid partially exposed granite and then stretched out to grab a bare root that had dug through the tiny openings in the earth reaching out over her. Clutching that fully in her hand, she hung her weight on the strength of the root and began searching for another grip as the root snapped under her weight. The blonde beauty felt the small amount of undergrowth snap and tried to react to grab at the much smaller twig still poking through. Her fingers had a second to feel it before gravity tore her away. She began plummeting back down to where she had started.

Hercules dashed up and around the remains of a forgotten landslide as he looked straight up to the falling damsel and positioned himself as she dropped into his arms. A mighty lurch of her weight nearly knocked him over as he re-shifted his weight and held on to her. It was Gabrielle, but she was curiously dressed in clothing much like his.

"Well, hello there, tall dark and studly." She liked being in his arms. "You get a lot of girls this way?"

"Gabrielle?" Hercules placed her to her feet. "What's going on here?"

"Who?" She looked at him and rolled her eyes a bit. "I think you got me confused with someone else."

"Why are you dressed like that?" Hercules looked at her as she took a deep breath and put her arms on her hips. "What's going on here?" Iolaus finally sauntered in trying to catch his breath from trying to keep up with Hercules. Bracing on his legs, he looked up to the blonde beauty Hercules had saved. She looked at him with a surprised gasp and tried to shake his image out of her mind as if she could not believe it. Realizing he wasn't an illusion, she lightly presented herself to him as her mind tried to accept his image.

"Iolaus?" She reacted stunned and heavy in heart. "I can't believe…. I mean, Athena said that I'd meet several duplicates of everyone, but…." She pulled him close and closed her lips over his. Hercules stood stunned and surprised as Iolaus widened his eyes at the embrace and kiss. He wanted to like it, he wanted to enjoy it, but it was too much to accept all at once.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa…" Hercules pulled them apart. "Who are you?"

"Oh," The Gabrielle clone reacted disjointed after kissing Iolaus. "Well, I'm not from your world. I'm Heracles, daughter of Zeus."

Hercules and Iolaus simultaneously lowered their jaws in unison and lowered their heads trying to believe it. They briefly looked at each other trying to believe it, but after everything else, it was just the next most incredible circumstance they had experienced. Iolaus actually turned round as if he was going to leave, but his mind was actually trying to wrap around the idea that in another world, Hercules actually was a woman and that she was a lot more than just a best friend to him. He spun around again coughing up a laugh of utter disbelief as Hercules waited for the punch line.

"Who are you?" Heracles looked to him.

"Let me, let me…." Iolaus put his arm on his buddy. "This is Hercules, son of Zeus."

"You're kidding?" Heracles chuckled with the same of vivacious and sparkling glitter that their Gabrielle did. Pretending to be distracted a second, she looked heavenward and then turned back around into the strange turn of circumstantial coincidences.

"I've had a small amount of experience with other timelines and realities." Hercules recalled his experience with the Sovereign, Exhaling a breath of relief that Salmoneus got that piece of information wrong, he cleared his throat and looked toward his would be sister. "So there's an Iolaus in your world?"

"Was." Heracles looked to the counterpart of Iolaus of this timeline. "He was my husband, but he and our children were killed by…"

"Hera." Hercules had a lump in his throat as he relieved a similar event. "I lived through the same thing here. In fact, I bet almost everything in our worlds is nearly the same."

"What are you doing in our world?" Iolaus finally asked.

"Well," Heracles turned from the question as if it was something she didn't want to talk about. "There was an incident which torched the Garden of the Hesperides, you know, where the gods get their golden apples. Demeter can restore them, but she needs seeds and you need apples to get seeds. I've only got twelve hours to take a few and return to plant them. Otherwise, I could miss my portal back and my gods could… well, you know."

"I can help so you don't have to do it alone." Hercules stepped out further than the ledge sticking out above. Looking out at the out-cropping, he scanned for a decent ledge and took his stance. "Think you could reach that?"

"Well, sure, but…" Heracles noticed him offering a leg up. Understanding his intentions, she placed her foot into his hand as he tossed her hard up straight into the air. Iolaus suddenly cocked his head as she shot straight up in to the air and actually cleared the top of the cliff. The whoosh of air frightened and alerted the raven watching the turn of events. It took to the air and flew off high into the air within seconds and started flying over the rocky terrain of dried out trees and unforgiving wilderness over prairies and floodplains to the north with a determined course. Even catching a breeze and from a mile into the air, it covered a lot ground. Mount Olympus was eighty miles north of Iolcus, but the bird actually made the distance within a few minutes. It glided toward the lower peak of the Areopagus and veered to an opening above the rushing waters of the Penaeus River. Gliding through the opening, a flash of light shape-shifted it back to its true form.

Shivering off the feeling of all the feathers, Discord shook the sensation back into her arms. Tossing her dark hair back, she arched her bosom against her leather costume and strided forth with an indifferent twitch to the rear of her skirt. Her Gothic beauty was enough to nearly make her a goddess of beauty or rapture, but she didn't care about that nonsense. Her sole purpose and destiny she felt was living up to the possibly misguided goals of her brother, the war god.

"What are you doing here?" Ares coldly acknowledged her as he sat bored upon his limited throne. "I thought I said you were banished for screwing up my plans in Mesopotamia."

"I just thought you'd like to know we now have another sister." Discord reported with a tone of disgust.

"What in Tartarus are you talking about?" Her brother sneered a bit.

"Remember the Sovereign?" Discord raised her eyebrows with a scheme in mind.

"Sure." Ares reflected as he stroked his short beard. "He had a lot of promise. Problem was he couldn't take orders."

"Well," Discord sidled up closer to her brother. "It seems that his world is not the only one out there. I just got a look at a female Hercules from another world."

"What?" Ares's torches flared with his temper as he stepped down off his seat. "I do not need another do-gooder sibling that I can't control. Hercules hasn't met her yet, has he?"

"Too late." Discord watched as her brother groaned from the distaste of events.

"I do not want her hanging around or them getting to be…." A light went on in Ares' head. "Wait a second. I think I can actually find a use for her…."

PART SIX

"So let me get this straight," Iolaus walked with Heracles and Hercules through Iolcus on the way to return to the portal to her world. "On your world, Callisto is the Warrior Princess, and Xena is…"

"Married… with children." Heracles answered as a small bag of apples bobbed over her shoulder.

"Whoa!" Iolaus reacted as Hercules just barely grinned. "What a weird place!"

"Hey!" Heracles stopped and looked at him. "I could say the same about your world, but I'm trying to be nice." She turned back to the path as they neared the market place. "Xena and Joxer have been happily married for…."

"Joxer???" Iolaus grinned again as he tried to hide an amused grin. "Yeah, I could see them together."

"Heh," Hercules chortled a bit amused at the weird reality that unfolded before him. "Well, I've got a message for your gods. I suggest they plant a few smaller gardens far apart instead of keeping them all in one basket."

"I'm not usually in a mood to help them, but I'll try to remember it." Heracles shined a bit toward Hercules. She began seeing him as the twin brother she might have had. He obviously had a liking for her, but it might have been her resemblance to this bard in this world he spoke of.

"You know," Hercules continued. "You still have about three hours till the doorway to your world opens. Is there anything here you want to do?"

"Well," Heracles lightly considered it as the three of them entered the marketplace. "If our mother is alive here…" She looked up to Hercules. He looked to Iolaus a bit heartbroken and lowered his head with remorse. It was suddenly obvious to the blonde princess of power that maybe her mother wasn't alive in this timeline either.

"Never mind," Heracles gasped lightly. "I should have known…" She felt a tapping at her shoulder from someone's finger. To her side, an old woman obscured by a hood looked up with weathered eyes. She pressed a flagon of wine to her to drink.

"Young lady," The woman gasped. "You helped us so much earlier. Please, have a taste of our finest wine. It's the best of all Thessaly."

"Well, thank you very much," Heracles beamed to her and sipped a bit from the metal cup. A sour taste poured through her throat and numbed her tongue. "It sure is…um, tasty." She grinned again rather hurt the old woman's feelings. The withered female wine-maker lightly bowed to her and took her flagon back as she tugged at her cloak and covertly lurked away through the numerous merchants in the square.

"Anytime you do something for anyone they tend to get grateful." Iolaus replied.

"Yeah…" Heracles shifted her bag of golden apples to her other shoulder while she tried to clear her through of the filmy aftertaste from the wine.

"If you don't mind," Hercules continued to lead the way. "I'd like to introduce you to Jason. He's a really good friend of mine currently in Phylace for the festivals. Is there a Jason in your world?" He turned round to Heracles. Still a few steps behind, she placed her hand to her head trying to snap out of something overcoming her. Her bag of apples fell off her shoulder as she unconsciously let go of it. She took a deep breath as her chest fell and dropped with air. Her head lowered as if it was a lead weight.

"Heracles?" Hercules reached to her. Her eyes scowled up to him from under her blonde locks and her breath hissed through her teeth. As the son of Zeus came close to her, she swatted him away as if he was a rag doll.

"Whoa!!!" Iolaus leapt aside. "Heracles???"

She tossed him off with little effort as well. Pushing aside the wagons of merchants in her way, Heracles reached down to the ground as Hercules tried to re-catch his breath and hoisted him up by his belt. Lifting him off his feet, she threw him hard to the stone and brick wall of the hotel as he bounced off the loosening bricks. Merchants and townsfolk scrambled and pushed out of the way of the brawling female as a familiar old woman hurried away giggling up a stone stairway. Her aged features shape shifted away and her decrepit figure swelled to a more shapely form as the robes were pulled away to reveal the goddess of strife herself. Hurrying to her older brother on the rooftop, Discord looked over the carnage she had started down below.

"Let's get ready to rumble!!!" Ares watched over the edge with his fist curled up in the palm of his left hand. Twitching his thumb left and right, he guided and controlled his would-be little sister against his hated half-brother.

"Tell me how this works again?" Discord looked over as Heracles proved to be quicker and faster than Hercules.

"Well, you see…" Ares grinned as he had Heracles swing Hercules around. "Zeus said we can't kill Hercules, but he never said we couldn't let someone else do it." Hercules didn't want to hurt his female counterpart, but even trying to defend himself, he was no match for her speed or her fingernails. In the meantime, she used his head to punch holes in the wall of the square.

"Get him, get him!!!!" Ares screamed.

"Hey!" Discord reached and jumped around her brother trying to gain control of his invisible game. "I want to control her too!"

"Heracles…" Iolaus coughed a bit as he staggered to his feet. Lifting up the bag of golden apples before anyone knew what he had, he staggered a bit as his vision panned the spilled carts, smashed tables of goods and displays. "What's gotten into you?" He coughed for air again as his eyes suddenly panned up to the roofs and the sight of Ares and Discord. She was bouncing around him as his fist and thumb twitched and jumped almost as if he was sending signals to someone. Iolaus copied the hand gestures himself as he realized what was going on.

"Hercules!!!" He screamed. "She's being controlled by Ares!!!"

"That answers my second question." Hercules lifted himself up after crashing into the wall of the tavern. Blood was dripping from his lip and his mind churned like leaves trapped in the north wind. Heracles pushed over a cart covered in frying pans and cooking utensils after lifting up a cast iron lid. She held it above his throat to sever his head from his shoulders. Flinching to the side, he missed her fatal wound by inches. The heat from the forge used to create the cast iron was a few feet away. Heracles hissed as she recaught her bearings and attempted to decapitate him once more. Without anytime to react, Hercules caught her body between his legs and tossed her toward it as it fried her backside. The son of Zeus hoped that the pain from it would break the control Ares had on her.

"Uh oh," Ares flipped his fist and thumb left and right in his other hand loosely. "Someone cut the power."

"You mean you broke it already?" Discord whined as she heard steps behind her on the flat roof. Hercules and Heracles stood there angrily.

"Game over." The two demigods chorused together. Discord fired a ball of flame from her fingertips first ahead of Ares unleashing a volume of concussive force. Hercules and Heracles ducked the two volleys directed at them and somersaulted with kicks to their respective opponents. Ares went down briefly and swung toward his brother with determined hostility. Discord swung like a top from the blow to her face and grabbed Heracles by her hair for a catfight. The two of them spun around each other by the other's hair while Ares paused to watch the male fantasy. The distraction allowed Hercules to knock him off the roof. Crashing into a manure wagon down below, Ares heard a ripping sound and looked up as Discord fell from above on top of him.

"Get off of me!!!" He yelled at her then noticed her sheared scalp. "Where's your hair?!"

"My hair?" Discord reached to her head and felt thousands of frayed prickly ends from where her long dark locks once swayed from her head. "My hair!!!" She screamed into the burst of white light into which she vanished. Realizing the manure he was laying in, Ares curled his lip disgustedly at the stink and vanished into a ball of light himself.

PART SEVEN

"Full dinner sandwich…." Falafel still called from his road stand as merchants and travelers ignored him on the way to Phylace. Mugging unconcerned to the seeming indifference, he took another bite from his demo sandwich and poured a cup from his flask of wine all the time he watched the sparse line of travelers on the way to the festivities down the road. Drinking the wine that had been sitting by him for two days, he struck upon another idea.

"I think I'll call it… fizzy drink." He mumbled under breath. "The bubbles kind of tickle my nose."

"I don't care what you call it." Autolycus pandered up to the falling over stand with his container of water. "You got any fresh water."

"Freshwater I got." Falafel looked at him while reaching under his stand. "You sure you don't want any potato sticks?"

"Did you cook them?"

"Yes."

"I'm sure." Autolycus gritted his teeth as he dropped a few Roman drachmas for the water. Falafel made a face and grumbled about only selling water as his eyes looked up the path and noticed Hercules, Iolaus and a lovely figure of a woman he knew as Gabrielle. Autolycus stole a few mostly ripe strawberries to pop in his mouth and turn round to see saw the three figures as well. He turned round as he realized Gabrielle was dressing differently.

"Gabrielle, are you dressing from Hercules' closet now?" He mumbled out loud.

"Autolycus," Heracles paused and stood up straight with her chest unconsciously arched forward. "I haven't seen you since you were nearly hanged for stealing those statues from King Ixion."

"That never happened." Autolycus rolled his eyes curiously as Iolaus chuckled a bit.

"Autolycus," Hercules spoke up with his arm around Heracles. "Allow me to introduce Heracles; she's from another world other than the Sovereign's."

"Really," The prince of thieves tugged at his goatee skeptically "And because you dress like Hercules, you're just as strong as he is, right?" She reached over and crushed his wooden water canteen in her hand as the water in it splashed in his face. Falafel gasped at the sight of the feat and dropped his jaw as the godly Gabrielle clone shined humbly to Autolycus.

"I could have just taken your word for it." Autolycus replied as a crack in the air popped a few feet from him. Turning his head, he looked up to the widening portent of energy spinning round against each other. He passed his hand before it as he observed the breeze from the energies flowed away from him on the other side away from him. Heracles gripped her bag of apples tightly as she glimpsed upon her way home. Stepping forward a second, she paused and looked back to Hercules.

"I'm sorry for all the trouble." She gasped softly.

"Don't worry about it." Hercules barely heard her over the churning portal. He looked at the long strains of long dark hair from Discord woven into a tassel on her belt. "What are you going to do with all the hair?"

"I'll give it to my Discord." Heracles replied with an embarrassed grin. "I ripped her hair out a long time ago too." Her gaze fell on Iolaus. Her heartstrings tugged at her a bit as she pulled him tight and kissed him fondly. Iolaus returned the fond embrace back as well even if he still felt he was kissing Gabrielle.

"I will always love you." She told her husband's counterpart.

"I can tell." Iolaus added. As Heracles looked up, Autolycus puckered up for a hopeful kiss.

"Go straight." She told him as she turned on her heel for home. The portal was still crackling and waiting for her as she stepped toward it. Jostling the apples in the bag over her shoulder, she started to step forward.

"Wait!!!" A female voice cracked out of time and space. Heracles stopped just inches from the inter-dimensional doorway to her world as a bosomy blonde in a skimpy dress flashed in front of her.

"Venus?"

"I prefer Aphrodite here." The oversexed love-goddess hugged her little sister. "I just had to meet my new little sister!" She reacted with a little giggle and squeezed Heracles before noticing her clothes. "Someone needs to accessorize…." She briefly turned to Hercules. "Herc, I'm also here to send a message. Father revised his edict to include all your dimensional counterparts and likenesses as well. He doesn't want anything like what nearly happened today to ever happen again."

"It's nice to know he cares once in a while." Hercules reacted sarcastically and then turned to gaze upon Heracles. The portal was sparkling in her blue-green eyes as she beamed back to him. As she stepped back into her world, she started turning transparent and even more vague until she was practically invisible. There was a mild outline of her body as she turned through the space between worlds and vanished completely.

"I miss her already." Aphrodite gazed emotionally at the spot where the portal once was. Behind her, Autolycus walked over to Iolaus and dropped his arm very friendlily over him.

"She was a great kisser." Iolaus reacted a bit forlorn. Heracles might have been incredibly strong, but she had the tenderest embrace he could recall.

"Does this mean you're secretly in love with Hercules?" Autolycus asked.

"No!!!!" Iolaus shrieked at the thought.

PART EIGHT

"I wonder if there was an Autolycus in her world." The Prince of Thieves tagged along behind the Son of Zeus and his partner.

"I forgot to ask." Hercules rolled his eyes a bit annoyed at the question. He sent a look of annoyance to Iolaus while Autolycus brooded mentally on the subject as they neared the bridge to Phylace.

"Yeah, you're right." Autolycus replied behind them. "I mean, when the gods made me, they broke the mold."

"Is that the kind of mold that grows on old bread?" Iolaus replied to him. Autolycus gave him a stare as if he was trying to figure out the insult. Hercules just turned his head with a wry smirk into the other direction. His head then cocked to another sound his full mortal friends could not hear. It was that same cry for help he had heard many times before from different situations. Without a reason to hasten, he picked up his pace to a hurried jog up the path. Iolaus and Autolycus realized the urgency of the cry for help and hurried a long to help in the dust kicked up by the Son of Zeus. Hercules barreled ahead to the bridge over the river where one of the rope lines was curiously hanging down into the abyss cut by the churning waters. Now that they were in range, they could hear the same distraught cry for help.

"Help!!" A voice called from off the embankment. Hercules skidded to a stop and looked down. Seven feet down and hanging off a bare root sticking from the steep bank, the flailing head of a figure dangled with his feet in the water. The rushing waters of the Corineus churned white foam on the sharp rapids just before descending rapids.

"I'm coming." Hercules grabbed the robe from the bridge and dangled it loose toward him. "Grab the rope!!"

"Where is it?!!!"

"In front of you!" Hercules saw it right in front of the scared figure under him. The rope was right in front of him; yet, the clinging figure didn't grab it.

"I'm blind!!" The figure wailed. Hercules groaned a bit as the root came loose a bit and the figure screamed clawing at the rock. He was obviously scared to death. He was clinging for life at a root he only knew by touch and his feet had to be ice cold in the rushing ice waters coming off the mountains from the north. Hercules gripped the rope as Iolaus rushed to help with Autolycus right behind him.

"I got him!" He cried out, grabbed Hercules' free hand and scooted down the ragged embankment. Hercules now had two people to hold on to as his best friend nimbly scaled the small ledges and crevices of the bare rocks as if he were a mountain antelope on its two feet. Autolycus watched with morbid fascination as he stayed out of the way of Hercules and Iolaus.

"Give me your hand!" Iolaus called out as Hercules held on tight to the rope.

"Where are you?" The figure reached out blindly with one hand to the space in front of him.

"Above you!" Iolaus bumped the man's hand for a second and then grabbed it with determined hope. Hercules groaned just a bit as he pulled the two figures up together. Hanging on to Iolaus for life wasn't as old a figure as he thought he had. He was middle-aged with dark hair and a full beard, but his brown eyes were the most unusual shade of light brown. He realized the strange man was blind from looking at him.

"Here you go guys." Autolycus pulled Iolaus up on the bank by his britches and then grabbed the stranger by his arms. Hercules had a breath of relaxation for the trial by gravity to be over.

"Are you okay?" He asked the stranger. "You need some help? Is there anyone to take care of you?"

"Yes, yes, thank you very much," The blind man hugged and thanked Iolaus thinking he was the figure he had heard. "I heard my Cousin Hercules was going to be in Phylace and I was going to try and meet him there. I thought I could handle the bridge, but…"

"Cousin?" Hercules did a brief double take as if he didn't believe his ears. "Weam? Is that you?"

"Yes," The blind man realized his error and started tanking and hugging Autolycus. "Hercules? Is that…"

"Try again." Autolycus gently brushed off Weam and allowed him to thank his cousin.

"Hercules?" Iolaus stood confused. "You got a cousin?"

"He's the son of my Uncle Cepheus." Hercules explained. "I haven't seen him since we were kids." He turned to Weam with stifled worry as he looked into his cousin's stunted eyes. "I knew your eyes were always bad, but… have they always been this bad?"

"For the last twenty years or so…." Weam stumbled awkwardly and ambled a bit as the feeling returned to his frozen feet. Guided by Hercules' shoulder, he didn't speak with as much panic to be reunited with his godly cousin. "I don't let it bother me, but Hercules, father has described to me all your adventures with dragons, monsters, Gorgons…"

"Gorgons?" Autolycus reacted suspiciously confused. Hercules had never met a single Gorgon.

"I've got so many questions for you." Weam followed Hercules the long way to the shallow part of the river. "I'd like to know more about your confrontations with other gods and about your sister Heracles and…"

"Heracles!" Iolaus stopped and looked at Weam surprised that he knew about her. "You know about Heracles?"

"Yes, of course," Weam grinned knowledgably despite his handicapped. "Hercules' twin sister. Father told me about how she was adopted by a family in Gaul."

"Hercules?" Iolaus and Autolycus turned to the son of Zeus wanting to know more. They knew any of this info. The only sisters Hercules was supposed to have were Zeus's other children. For as long as they knew, Hercules had no full-blooded siblings. Hercules exhaled with a wry look and took them aside as Weam cocked his head trying to tell from the air where his cousin was standing.

"Guys," Hercules started silently. "Don't believe any of the stories Weam repeats from my uncle. You see… Uncle Cepheus was a notorious liar!"

END


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